Poem Reason

I can't open myself up to anyone I can't trust any of them
and I can't see anything the light that shines is disappearing soon it will be gone even now I’m wilting
What I can’t reveal is my weakness, my past
unable to open myself up this is my weakness my past
I can get what I want, but no doubt the kindness I’m holding onto will slip away
my heart is shuttered even now it falls apart
soon it will break apart
stifling my tears I laugh every day
my heart showed me there was no reason to believe
those hypocrites killed me
I can get what I want, but no doubt the kindness I’m holding onto will slip away
the typical answer is when you die you'll be reborn and come back again
my heart is shuttered even now it’s crumbling apart
stifling my tears I scream every day
my heart left me the strength to believe there’s a reason
It was my very own heart that killed me

Poem August 5th Date of Parting

motive
August 5th, Saturday not a cloud in the sky
from the top floor of this building if I notice, I'll inform of our parting
August 3rd, Thursday in my heart, a wound is broken
the 6th wound it becomes torn, everything is broken,
everything
the first time we met, I noticed my own foolishness
always unbelieving of people wounding people
why didn't I learn of my love for you
having done this I cannot seem to forget this love
but
I believe in happiness I don't seem to notice
alone I was crying I didn't seem to understand you
more than this more than this I don't want to be hurt
but only now, it's only you that I wanted to love
there's a time I made sure to forget, but now I want to hold you close
I believed in happiness I knew your past
I cannot forget in spite of you
more than this more than this I don't want to be hurt
but it's only you I cannot hold closely, reassuringly
August 5th in a sunny sky with no clouds
already this is the end spread across the ground, staring at myself
"I embrace you" "I stare at you" "I love you" "I will remember you"
"You reject me" "You look away" "You hate me" "You forget me"

Poem Poem

A boy spits on the Berlin wall
even if it comes down now, not a single thing can change
When I remembered obstinately, I closed myself off
with my poems as my only support...
I don't want to become Edward Gein
Sid Vicious & Nancy, where can I meet you?
In my heart I have no voice even in my heart my poem is lost quietly I wait for you
I cannot reach as far as you I cannot reach I cannot find your voice
When you gently hold out your hand, I cannot accept it
In my heart I have no voice even in my heart my poem is lost quietly I wait for you
yearning
dreaming
loving
in love with love
the dream will end,
Sid's dream

in response to the votes of "femininness" at the bottom of this page labeled "How Femme"

overall the person in the picture was voted to have an average feminine look of about 9.6 out of 10.♥

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
The person in the picture is NOT a woman!
The "Very Feminine" person in the picture is actually a man who goes by the name of Shinya Terachi and is the drummer for a band named Dir en Grey. The band is from Japan and is very popular in about ten different countries including America. ♥

Maybe that will make you look twice next time. xD ♥

Poem Ash

I screamed out your name
Even my voice will probably never reach you
But you know, now I'm ok with that.
Some day in my heart you'll be
I'll dream tonight, dreams of you.
Because of that letter I put under my pillow
My dreams are too cruel, my breath is cut off
I always painfully awaken at four in the morning
Time is too long
Time is too painful
The dreams don't stop
Love freezes to death
On a cold night
On this long night
My consciousness splintered and powdered
Memories scattered about
Holding your ring so tightly that my tears wet the pillow
So I couldn't hear it, I blocked my ears to your voice
My dreams are too cruel, my breath is cut off
Melting into the wound You
I am breaking burning the letter it's reduced to ash
I am breaking destroying my heart it's reduced to ash
I am breaking losing you I love you. Love is reduced to ash

A Good website about Elie Wiesel and the Holocaust

http://www.eliewieselfoundation.org/eliewiesel.aspx
The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity is about equality and tolerance and combating indifference.
It talks about Elie Wiesel and his life after the holocaust and also about darfur and it has its own darfur refugee program for refugees from the genocide in Darfur who have been given safe haven in Israel.
Some interesting things I found out on the website: 1 Wiesels book Night was originally called La Nuit. It was also translated into thirty languages.
2 In 1978, President Jimmy Carter appointed Elie Wiesel as Chairman of the President's Commission on the Holocaust. ;)
3 Elie Wiesel is the author of more than forty books of fiction and non-fiction. <:0

I had no Idea Elie Wiesel did so many things. I just thought he was so popular because he lived through the holocaust and wrote ONE BOOK about the holocaust. @_@

So overall this is an awesome website and whoever reads this should go there. now. I said Now. Why are you still reading this? go to the website already.
wow you really are a tough nut to crack. alright I give up you go do whatever you want I'll be over there waiting for something cool to happen. #~# peace =p

Poem Cockroach Prince

Wake up you’re dead
I’m just a third-rated star covered in blood
See the prince on the rocking horse, his polished face looks so cool
I’m just going to spill my guts on you
Under the name of Justice
You can’t break my soul
Under the name of Justice
Think, you moron
Fall out of line you cockroach
Right, left, front, and back, it overflows with despair and pain
They say this anger, this emotion, and this passion is all a lie
Wither Wither Wither
I’m not even trying to justify myself
The dark dark Sunday, the blood stains
You can’t save yourself
The dark dark Sunday, the blood stains
This is the last time
Welcome to the garden of destruction
even the voice cannot be heard in the dark
soon we'll see what kind of a man you are
The Dark Dark Sunday, the blood stains
You can't save yourself
The dark dark Sunday, the blood stains
The night is cold and long
The night sky is deep and wide

post on two holocaust links

Q: How long did the Russians take to die?
A: I do not know. I only obeyed orders. SS
Q: How long did it take to gas the Russians?
A: I returned after two hours and they were all dead. SS
Q: For what purpose did you go away?
A: That was during lunch hour. SS

SS-Unterscharführer Wilhelm Bahr

Are Germans really that stupid? considering I am 1/10 German I really hope not.

"After winning a gold medal at the winter Olympics in 2006, speed skater Joey Cheek committed himself to drawing attention to Darfur by enlisting athletes to speak out on the crisis there."
Now that is what a human being is suppose to do.
"His visa to attend the Beijing Olympics was revoked by the Chinese authorities."
Now that is not something a human should do.

Poem of Genocide

Even innocent people
Are lashed by the lukewarm rain and wounds take root
Lies are born now
And somewhere they cease to be lies
At some point, words and even this day
Has become buried in mistakes
Embracing a blue, unblemished memory
In the tears of this violent emotion, even my lust is blurred
Even the strength to live in the present…
The violent emotion sends me crazy, and I grieve
Holding up my wish to the evening sun
Burning from the inside
Crying with pain.
You can’t save me
In the tears of this violent emotion, the tenderness I lost
Is born and I’m given love
It must be because of my own weakness
That I lost my heart?
It's then the proof of sadness, caused by absolute injustice
In the lukewarm rain which does not stop.

Response to America and the Holocaust

I can see that America has always been like this. Stupid America thinks all the worlds problems are just going to "go away". Just like Darfur America just didn't want to do anything. why? I'll tell you why. It's because America is greedy and pathetically lazy that's why! Although that's not all America is. America is practically based on genocide. Early American settlers committed genocide against Native Americans and if America were to punish all the acts of genocide then America would have to be punished as well! I am so angered by this that I think I will make a poem about it maybe.

Poem: Of Reticent Love

Only on the surface now I'm toying with you. You do not notice a thing
In frozen love, in reticent you, with reticent love, a reticent discomfort,
In reticent me, with reticent love, a reticent scar
You are the eighteenth one, you didn't notice me supported by kindness,
This frozen-made love, In reticent you, with reticent love, a reticent pleasure,
In reticent me, with reticent love, reticently.
I cannot change, I cannot return, reticent love, reticently, we two are entangled,
My inner heart's reticence, my inner heart’s quiet, striking towards the heart,
My inner heart's reticence, my inner heart's quiet, even if I try to toy with your heart
I cannot change, I cannot return, reticent love, in reticent me, with reticent love, reticently.
I cannot change, I cannot return, reticent love,
Quietly, quietly, we two are entangled,
I don't feel anything, Even when I look at your face, You should just keep being deceived,
That's nothing compared to what I had in the past
I cannot change, I cannot return, reticent love,
In reticent me, with reticent love, reticently.
From sometime ago I had noticed you but,
To only be reticently by your side is all I need,
I hold you close at the end,
I don't know if this will become the reticent end

poem so why

We met on that place didn't we? Now U can no longer do anything, but...
We met in this town didn't we? Now I can no longer love anyone, but...
Now you are on that hill, Together we saw this sky we're looking at
Now I am in this sky, We were there looking at that hill
The whithering flower, like on that time, Even once more would be enough,
It wants to bloom beautifully
On this night The heart and the ideals melt into the darkness,
At least just for tonight
By your side Goodbye...
The whithering flower, like on that time, Even once more would be enough,
It wants to bloom beautifully
On this night The heart and the ideals melt into the darkness,
At least just for tonight
While our interlocked fingers loosen, I, who am sinking deeply, loved the you that I last saw
A dream unfulfilled I wait on that hill.
I want to sleep with you in a dream unawakened
The past may not return, but in my rebirth I will search for you
So until that time wait for me but for now on that hill is still

essay intro paragraph

I should be a bio-engineer because Bio-engineering is my life and if bio-engineering did not exist then I would have no purpose in life. With all these new diseases appearing across the world bio-engineering and genetic research seems to be the likeliest way to cure them. I know that my destiny is to cure every disease there is and if I fail then all I am is for naught.

how femme?

On a scale of 1-10 how feminine does this person look to you?
enter your vote in comments.

poem so what

Give me Laugh Everyone dreams
Give me Pain When the time is over
Give me High In a world of contradiction
Give me Dreams
Give me Laugh A grin
Give me Pain As much as the lies
Give me High No place to go
Give me Love
I cannot reach your love, you cannot reach my love
Even now, see
I cannot reach your voice, you cannot reach my voice
Even now, but
Give me Laugh As much as we made love
Give me Pain Can I love you?
Give me High In a world of contradiction
Give me I will
I cannot reach your love, you cannot reach my love
Even now, see I cannot reach your voice, you cannot reach my voice
Even now, but
The time will end, The time will change, Me, you and now, Like with the flow of time.
The time will stop, Until the end, Let's say good night with a kiss to a life with no fire
Give me Laugh
Give me Pain
Give me High
An end begins a trivial matter
It's a time to burn everything
If I could forget you without hesitation
You laugh
Solitude laughs as it likes
You laugh, you laugh, you laugh, you look down
The time is over, the time is over
Sleeping with a kiss to unheated death
I cannot reach your love, you cannot reach my love
Even now, see
I cannot reach your voice, you cannot reach my voice
Even now
Dreams have dried up and changed into sand, will my dream bloom again?
I cannot remember when I said goodbye, can your voice reach me
But
The time will end, The time will change, Me, you and now, Like the flow of time
The time will stop, Until the end, Let's say goodnight with a kiss to a life with no fire
Give me. When the time is over

2-3 topics i am interested in

I would like to blog about martial arts. When you want to learn martial arts there are a few ways to do it you can either learn it from a book, from the Internet, from movies, or by going to martial arts classes, you could also use all four of these methods. I would like to talk about what to be wary of when dealing with these four methods.
BOOK: when buying a book there are two things to look for. 1 be sure that what the book teaches is what you want to learn. Some people buy books that just say "learn tai kwon do in an hour" or something like that but really don't teach you anything you can easily or personally use in self defence. 2 when pictures are used be sure that you can interpret how the person is moving because sometimes it is impossible to figure out how the pictures are telling you to move.
INTERNET: when using the internet I would recommend youtube for half of the information needed then go ahead and search on yahoo and google for a couple hours of the day, but only if you want to spend most of the day doing it.
MOVIES: you really can't rely solely on movies if you want to actually win in a fight but if you want to try to bluff your way out of one then movies are kind of useful "almost"
MARTIAL ARTS CLASSES: most recommended method but there are still many things that can go wrong. 1 you must decide on what you want to learn before choosing an appropriate school. If you want to do hand to hand combat or learn how to beat someone who has a knife then choose accordingly. 2 before actually paying for classes you should go to the dojo or empty warehouse or wherever the place is and watch all the people who are already attending and see what they do and how they are taught. If it looks like the owner, grandmaster, sensei is the only one teaching then that is good but if the grandmaster lets other blackbelts teach then it usually isn't as good.
3 you should speak with the sensei for a while about the time schedule, what he/she charges per month, belt test, and for the price on the uniform, and how he/she decides on when students are ready for the next belt. 4 important! Use your gut instinct/common sense to figure out if the sensei is in this profession to really teach or if he/she is just in it for the money, also many people are intimidated by martial arts instructors, don't be intimidated, they can't hurt you so if you feel like he/she does not respect you or is not teaching properly or is in this only for the money then don't be afraid to tell it to his/her face but don't try to make it seem like you are verbally attacking him/her just say it casually because it really is about self respect and respect for others.
P.S. martial arts is not a hobby it is a way of life.
P.S.S. if you have long nails you will probably have to clip them almost down to the skin.

about me

This post is all about me. I am not sure that I can give you a perfect "about me" post but I will try to do my best. I was born in July so I am a Cancer with Leo rising or something like that. I am extremely into sciences such as physics, chemistry, and biology. I would like to become a bio-engineer, genetic-engineer and I usually say both of these because people either know about one or the other for some reason. I hope to be able to cure every single disease there is and improve the ways people live. I am in love with a Japanese band called Dir En Grey they are unlike any other band I have even heard of. They can go from the most softest of songs to the best rock to the most hardcore of all metal music all in the same song. This link goes to one of their cool fans who took the time to explain a bit about the band>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEjReMMuZWk
For those who would like to see one of their songs then this one is for you (It starts off hardcore then goes on to more songs) >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKFhqqpBm0Q
That is all about me for now.